


Bloom.

by winshikkie



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hanahaki AU, Happy ending don't worry, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nobody Dies, One-Sided Love, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, friends!Nielhwan, i still dont know how to tag??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winshikkie/pseuds/winshikkie
Summary: He let it bloom inside of him, and although it hurts a little, it helped to numb him.It brought him peace in a way, because it stopped him from feeling things,from feeling weird and giddy whenever Minhyun laughed,whenever Minhyun cared for him,whenever he’s with Minhyun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! this is my first ever Chaptered oneshot! Minhwan x hanahaki au!   
> i'll try to update as soon as i can, hopefully before the exams!   
> thankyou for reading~
> 
> also crossposted on aff =  
>  https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1334710/bloom-angst-minhwan-romance-minhyun-jaehwan-slowburn-hanahakidiseaseau-wannaone

Jaehwan would call himself a pessimistic person. 

 

Out of all of his friends, he’s probably the most pessimistic one. But that doesn’t stop Minhyun from being so friendly to him. Minhyun always cared for Jaehwan, even when he lacked sleep himself due to assignments, even when it looked like Minhyun was the one that needed some caring himself. Minhyun always held Jaehwan in his arms like he’s something fragile, something so precious to him. He’s always so gentle to Jaehwan, so gentle.

That’s when something bloomed inside of Jaehwan.

At first, he shrugged it off. 

There’s no way this could be happening. 

Not after years of shunning his heart away from people, not after years of denying his own feelings.  
So, he ignored it.

He ignored his nagging heart that’s telling him to admit his feelings, that this isn’t fake. That everything won’t be the same as back then. 

That this time, Jaehwan will be fine. Because he’s with Minhyun. 

But Jaehwan being Jaehwan, he’s too scared to admit it. He’s worried and afraid of everything repeating itself. 

He’s left with a scar that doesn’t fade even after years of neglect; a scar that constantly reminded him of nothing but pain.   
He kept on denying and tried to forget. It worked for the most part, somehow. 

Soon after that, it stopped growing. Jaehwan didn’t feel anything anymore inside of him. 

He was relieved, but if only he knew the same exact feeling would return again, 

much worse than before.

 

\-----------------------

 

Jaehwan used to sleep a lot.

 

So much to the point where it seemed unhealthy and Minhyun repeatedly asking him if he’s alright.

It’s not that he’s tired or exhausted, that’s probably the second reason, or the third.   
It’s because sleeping made him numb, made him forget.

It helped to numb the jealousy that latched onto his heart whenever he saw girls fawning over Minhyun. He knew that these kinds of stuff should be normal, though.  
Minhyun was the ‘prince’ of the school. Perfect grades, looks, personality, and everything in between. He always received the most letters and gifts during valentines, and the amount he got then is nothing compared to the one he got for his birthday.

But Minhyun being the kind prince, he always offered Jaehwan these treats, knowing fully well that the younger loves sweets more than him. Jaehwan would always kindly reject, although he would end up eating most of them anyways. He knew that Minhyun was too kind to reject them (and even if he did, he would always give them his softest smile that made both Jaehwan and the girls swoon).

So, he slept a lot. It helped him to get over those unnecessary jealous days and helped to numb his heart that would always beat rapidly whenever Minhyun cared for him.   
His heart would kind of beat irregularly at the fact that Minhyun remembered that he has a sweet tooth.

 

Sometimes he just sleeps because he’s exhausted. 

 

Exhausted of his own expectations, assignments, and of the glances people throw in his direction because he’s close with Minhyun. 

He knows that he’s nothing compared to Minhyun. 

His smile probably looks like a beaver compared to his, his hairstyle probably like a ragged bush, and his voice is not as gentle as the prince’s, especially when he has such an obnoxious laugh. 

Minhyun would always discourage Jaehwan for thinking so lowly of himself though.

He’d say that Jaehwan’s smile is as bright as the sun and it always makes him smile too.

He’d say that Jaehwan’s hair looks exactly like a puppy’s, one that he’d want to pet.

He’d say that Jaehwan’s laugh is both adorable and hilarious. 

He’d always compliment Jaehwan’s voice. 

‘It’s so soothing, I feel like I can sleep while listening to your voice, you know.’

The gentle smile gazed towards him didn’t help to calm down his heart, as a matter of fact, it made it even worse. In a good way.   
Sleeping helped him to calm his heart down.

 

He slept to numb the pain in his heart.

 

The pain that would always creep into his mind and heart, and whisper things to deceive Jaehwan. Jaehwan knows that Minhyun would never hurt him, but he can’t help but have these constant negative thoughts bloom inside of him.

Jaehwan can’t help but overthink on a lot of things. 

Why would someone as perfect as Minhyun ever consider Jaehwan, an ordinary and obnoxiously loud guy. Jaehwan’s grades are average, he has a small group of friends (that he’s thankful for), and the only thing he could ever boast about is his loud laugh and his skill for singing (skill, not talent, despite Minhyun disagreeing with this). 

He never regarded himself as someone that is worthy for Minhyun, because he’s so sure someone out there is worthier than him. Someone smarter, gentler, more perfect than him. Maybe Minhyun had even found this special ‘someone’.

 

Choi Minki. 

 

An adorable and gorgeous guy (not as gorgeous as Minhyun though, Jaehwan thinks).  
He has a smile that curves up to his eyes, almost like a cat’s. He’s clever and witty, he’s talented, he’s everything that Jaehwan’s not. In other words, he’s someone that’s worthy to be with Minhyun.  
They weren’t a couple (so Jaehwan’s friends says).

They were close though. 

And Jaehwan could clearly see that.

Jaehwan doesn’t miss the soft giggles they’d exchange in their seats during lectures.  
He doesn’t miss how Minki would be gentler to Minhyun compared to the others.   
He doesn’t miss how Minki looked so infatuated with Minhyun. 

It almost seemed like he was in love. 

These negative thoughts continued to seep their way into Jaehwan’s weak, fragile heart. They engulfed it, and deep within his heart it seemed like they had planted a seed. 

Just like before.

 

Everything started to bloom from then on.

 

\-----------------------

 

At first, these ‘things’ would bloom slowly, starting out small. They’re usually from unnecessary jealous days, or whenever his heart skipped several beats for a certain prince.   
But after every single time Jaehwan saw Minhyun together with Minki, they would grow faster than before.

It hurt a little, but its nothing he couldn’t bear.

In a way, it numbed him.

Since then, Jaehwan started to sleep less. 

He found that this ‘thing’ that’s growing in him was just like a sting. These so-called thoughts were like thorns, and they would prick Jaehwan’s heart from time to time.He was sort of enjoying it.  
He didn’t have to sleep as much. If anything, it made him much more alive. 

But Jaehwan doesn’t realize the danger in the whole beauty of it. 

He liked hanging out with his friends more, they made him laugh; they made him happier. He would casually ignore the occasional sting and prick in his heart. 

He would occasionally have light coughs or trouble breathing. But he blamed it all on the bad weather or even because he gets less sleep now. 

 

He doesn’t realize that its all because of Minhyun.

 

Not because of what the older does to him.

Its what the younger felt for the older. 

Weeks passed by where these feelings for Minhyun started to grow, deeper and faster inside of his heart. 

The younger is so oblivious to all of these things though. 

Jaehwan’s not sure if he prefers the occasional stinging pain that made him feel much more awake or sleeping. He thinks he likes being awake more. 

He let it bloom inside of him, and although it hurts a little, it helped to numb him.  
It brought him peace in a way, because it stopped him from feeling things,   
from feeling weird and giddy whenever Minhyun laughed,

whenever Minhyun cared for him,

 

whenever he’s with Minhyun.

 

\-----------------------

 

There’d been countless of days where Jaehwan would have countless of sleepless nights where he’d cry himself to sleep.   
The next morning would always be exhausting because he would be attacked with judgements and assignments left and right. Those nights were rough and unforgiving, but just like a fairytale, someone saved him, comforted him even though he never showed any signs of help.

Whenever he showed up in class with red, puffy eyes, he would always brush it off and say the same old ‘I just had a rough night, that’s all’, and no one questioned further.

Except for Minhyun.

On days where he was clearly not eating enough, he would always say ‘Oh I don’t feel like eating yet, maybe later’, but Minhyun knows he hasn’t eaten for the whole day.

On those rough days, unforgiving nights, he could only rely on one person that he’d always trust. 

 

Minhyun.

 

Minhyun would always respond to his texts and calls, no matter how much he sent. He would always cook Jaehwan’s favorite meals and add a bit too much, just to make sure he eats enough.   
He would always hug Jaehwan, engulf him in nothing but warmth and comfort, whispering to him soothing words whenever the younger was a sobbing mess.He thought that this warmth was only something that he could have; something he could cherish.

Until Choi Minki came in. 

The younger doesn’t know if what he felt for Minhyun before was what he could call ‘love’, at least not until these ‘thoughts’ had implanted themselves inside Jaehwan’s heart. 

These thoughts started to grow much faster, faster than what Jaehwan had ever experienced. The pain was starting to hurt. He felt as if all the air in his body had been knocked out.

 

He couldn’t breathe; he was suffocating. 

 

He coughed and hacked, his whole body jolted and trembled, it was too much, too much. 

 

With one final cough, there it was.

A small, tiny flower.

And then Jaehwan started to think,

 

‘Oh’

 

‘I must be in love.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long delay! ㅠㅠ it's been really hectic since the school year's ending and all the assessments just piled up;;  
> of course i've been really stressed but reading the comments made me want to continue this fanfic!  
> i hope you enjoy~ its pretty lengthy!! 2000+ words ;-) 
> 
> sorry for any mistakes!! its 1 am and i just finished studying for exams ㅠㅠ

The two had always been a peculiar pair. 

 

Unique, in their own quirky way. 

 

They were polar opposites, in every single aspect possible.

So naturally, people would suspect that Minhyun would never clash with Jaehwan, in any way possible. But hey, life’s full of surprises, isn’t it?

They first met in their first year of high school. 

First impressions from Jaehwan never really worked well with other people—well, everyone except for Minhyun. 

He had never told this to anyone yet before, but something about Jaehwan intrigued him. Maybe it was something in his attitude, how he stood up for Minhyun when everyone was just plainly taking advantage of him for his brain.

Jaehwan was never exactly ‘dumb’ either. At least the kid knew right from wrong, and he somewhat gives his best—when he feels like it. His grades weren’t outstanding, but he was just a little bit above the average. 

But at least he wasn’t a jerk, who would use someone else’s brain just like that. 

Everyone else seemed to fail to see Minhyun’s pure heart, to see how actually beneath all that calm and kind façade, he was just as stressed as they were—which had unfortunately multiplied because of them. 

But he never declined anyone. 

No matter how tired Minhyun seemed to be with those dark circles of his, adorning his eyes so comfortably, how frustrated he actually was, he would never decline anyone. With a kind (yet forceful) smile, he was willing to help them. And maybe, because of that feature of his, was when Jaehwan started to pay more closer attention. 

It wasn’t over anything big really, just plain curiosity. 

He’d never seen anyone so kind before. So gentle. 

Someone who’s the complete opposite of him. 

 

He was intrigued, to say the least.

 

And with a couple of more friendly hellos, movie nights, and stressful assignments, they both became each other’s support, without realizing it; they had an unbreakable bond.

Nothing else would be better than this, Jaehwan thought.

Nothing could go wrong, right?

 

At least, that’s what he thought.

 

//

 

Jaehwan had never been the ‘expressive’ type of guy.

Excluding the countless of facial expressions he’d have in a single day, ranging from furrowed eyebrows and a pouty lip, all the way to crinkled eyes and a bright smile, he never really showed one specific side of him.

A side that he always kept to himself.

A side that he promised to never show anyone.

 

Promised.

 

Jaehwan never tells anyone if he’s sad.

Mostly because he’s afraid. 

 

Of what? 

 

Hell, he doesn’t even know himself.

 

//

 

Back when Jaehwan was a tiny and innocent boy, he smiled a lot. Out of every kid in the class, he’d laugh the most. It continued that way, until middle school. 

Things got hard, it seemed. 

Jaehwan might be fooling around most of the time, but he still wants to be educated. He yearns the feeling of excitement he gets whenever he learns and understands something new. 

Although, that spark soon died out.

When he was stressed, exhausted, pulling all-nighters to study for tests, he thought that he’d be judged as a hard-working kid. What he received was nothing of that sort. 

Whenever he looked partially dead, whenever his eyes were red and swollen, voice hoarse from last night, his parents were anything but kind to him.

His parents, the people who he thought he could rely on for warmth. 

They scolded him, didn’t even once bothered to comfort him. 

 

“What’s the use of crying?”

 

“Is crying gonna make your grades any better?”

 

Since then, Jaehwan found it difficult to seek comfort from others. 

 

Really difficult. 

 

//

 

Jaehwan wanted so bad to release this voice of his, this voice that so desperately screamed for help, this voice that craved comfort. 

He was suffocating and his chest hurts. 

So, his prayers were somehow—miraculously—answered, either that or he must’ve obviously plastered it on his face, when Minhyun asked him,

 

“Jaehwan, why are you sad?”

 

At that point, Jaehwan finally let go. 

 

He cried.

 

At that point, Jaehwan suddenly felt free.

His chest felt light, he could suddenly breathe again.

He sobbed in front of Minhyun, clutching his shirt so tight because he’s afraid Minhyun would leave him, he’s afraid he’d be alone again. 

Minhyun just hugged Jaehwan so tight, engulfing his already small figure in his arms, pulling him close to his chest, and slowly rocked his body back and forth at a slow pace. He looked so much smaller and so much more fragile, it hurt Minhyun to look at him like this. 

Jaehwan sobbed so hard. His throat hurt, his voice strained, the ringing sound was too much for his ears; he was just overwhelmed. 

 

He was overwhelmed mainly because someone finally cared for him. 

 

Minhyun gave him this comfort that was unfamiliar to him. It was gentle and nurturing, soft, caring, all the things Jaehwan have yet to experience. 

That night, Minhyun went to sleep with Jaehwan. 

He hugged the younger, giving him nothing but this newfound warmth. He stroked his hair, cradled each strand in-between his fingers, wiping off the tear that would occasionally slip out of his eyes.  
He would softly hush Jaehwan whenever a broken sob or a whimper would accidentally slip out, because Jaehwan would still try to keep it in, and whisper that it’s alright. 

 

“It’s alright Jaehwan, I’m here. You’ll be alright.”

 

For the first time, Jaehwan wasn’t scared to let go. Especially when he’s with Minhyun. 

 

But what was he so afraid of now?

 

He knows that he can call Minhyun whenever he wanted to, it was actually the older’s idea to begin with. 

 

“Whenever you’re feeling down, just call me, okay? Please, Jaehwan.”

 

So yeah, he could’ve called him. 

But something was stopping him. 

Lately, as Minhyun spent more and more time with Minki, in Jaehwan’s eyes, he looked happier. 

Much happier. 

 

Suddenly, Jaehwan felt afraid again.

 

Was he a burden all this time?

Was Minhyun just faking it?

After all the nights Jaehwan was reduced into a sobbing mess, was Minhyun going to leave him too?

 

He doesn’t know.

 

But right now, the pain in his chest hurt so much, too much for himself to bear alone, and it’s not the type of pain he’s familiar with.

This excruciating pain made his heart throb, in a bad way. 

The thorns pricked his heart harder, so hard to the point where it was getting hard to breathe. They were crawling their way up, latching themselves onto his throat and just barely seeping out to his  
mouth, it was overflowing. His throat tightened because he wanted to vomit out something so bad. 

He thought he could’ve gotten used to this pain over the past month. 

He thought that he could deceive himself into thinking that this won’t be a big deal, everything will be fine, everything will be normal again.

He thought of all the possibilities, denying himself from the blunt, harsh truth. 

He didn’t expect them to grow this fast, he was overwhelmed. 

 

He was scared. 

 

But not right now. He can’t vomit them out now, not when he’s near Minhyun. 

His stomach churned at the sight of those two, and as much as he’d like for it to stop, it was too much for his fragile body to handle by itself. 

So, he sat there, mustered up all that he could so he wouldn’t be too obvious, and coughed. 

 

And as easy as that, there was a flower. 

 

It was a carnation*. 

 

Its dark red color seemed to mock Jaehwan, it was burning his eyes. Jaehwan scrambled out of his seat and rushed out of class as soon as it ended, leaving behind a confused Minhyun. 

He can’t face him right now. Not now. 

However, Jaehwan forgot to do one crucial thing. 

 

He forgot to throw his flower away, like he always did. 

His mind was too dizzy to think, too dizzy to think of the small little detailed habits he’d usually do to make sure no one knows. 

His mind was fogged, blurred with the pain that seemed to drown his heart.

 

Little did he know, a certain tall man with pink fluffy hair was watching him the whole time.

He saw Jaehwan cough that red flower up. 

 

Daniel saw Jaehwan. 

 

And he was definitely going to talk to Jaehwan after this. 

 

Before it’s too late. 

 

//

 

Jaehwan ran. He ran and ran until he couldn’t feel his own legs anymore. The sight of Minhyun together with Minki burned into the back of his mind and he wanted nothing but for it to be gone. 

But he doesn’t know how. 

Its a given fact that even though the pain is no longer there, the scar will remain. 

It already ingrained itself inside the deepest parts of his mind, just like how the flowers were planting themselves deep inside his heart. He burst through the door and almost tripped on his way in. 

He was panting, wheezing, running out of breath. He was exhausted—mentally, physically, or emotionally, he doesn’t know. Maybe it was all three. 

Jaehwan plopped onto his bed and let the most relieved sigh escape past through his lips. 

He decided to sleep for a while—or maybe a few hours. Or maybe he’d sing, compose, run—anything to get his mind off that sickening memory that made his head spin and heart clench. Sadly, luck didn’t seem to be by his side for today. His thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a ringtone, and he knew exactly who it’s from. He knew it was coming though, he dreaded it. 

 

(He and Minhyun had made a promise ever since that night, they would set a special ringtone for each other. If either of them ever needed help, they knew they had each other to rely on. It almost seemed like nothing back then, but it meant everything to Jaehwan now.)

 

With a trembling hand and a quivering voice, he accepted the call.

“Jaehwan? Hwannie? Are you okay?”, Minhyun asked him with sincere worry tainted in his voice.

“Y-yeah, yeah I’m fine. What’s wrong?”

“You worried me for a bit back there, Hwannie! You’ve never left class so quick before.” Jaehwan found it weird how Minhyun had noticed that, but he doesn’t care about that. 

 

At least not for now.

 

“I’m not feeling too well today—but it’s not a big deal, don’t worry,” Jaehwan tried to reassure him.

“You sure? Do you want me to come over? I can always cancel my plans with Minki.”

 

Minki.

 

Minhyun had plans with him.

 

He felt that familiar pain in his heart, the ringing in his ears, and how his stomach churned uncomfortably just hearing his name. He felt dizzy all of the sudden, his eyelids suddenly too heavy.  
He was reminded of the painful memory of them together.

Tears suddenly started to trickle down his face, stinging his eyes, just like how the flowers stung his heart. 

 

“No. No, it’s alright. I’ll be fine.”

He almost let a sob slip past his trembling lips—almost. He almost let Minhyun hear the quiver in his voice.

“Jae—”

“I said I’ll be fine, hyung. Thanks, though. Have fun with Minki.”

Before Minhyun could say anything else, before it was getting too much, Jaehwan hung up.

 

He felt it rising to his throat again, he felt like vomiting again. 

 

So, he did. 

He kneeled down in the bathroom and spewed out everything that he could. He was sweating so much, but at this point he couldn’t differentiate between his sweat and his tears. His body was hunched in such a way that would hurt his back and nothing but gut-wrenching noises could be heard. He was bound to have a sore throat by tomorrow.

His tiles were stained red—a dark, crimson red that he could barely recognize as his own blood. He knew he must’ve spewed an excessive amount today, more than the usual.  
He could barely see anything though, the tears blurring his vision so much that the only thing he could see were splotches of red drenching his clothes. 

He doesn’t even want to think about what flowers he had spewed up today.

His head was spinning so much. 

He could barely take in any air—he was gasping for air.

He could barely think straight.

 

Suddenly, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it?? i hope you enjoyed it uwu  
> i haven't developed the plot yet so i ended it with that ^^  
> i hope you guys are able to express your feelings well and don't bottle them up like i do !!  
> and i hope your parents don't scold you when you cry (like mine, haha;;) ㅠㅠ
> 
>  
> 
> *a dark red carnation represents deep love and affection.
> 
>  
> 
> until next time~


	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry there's not much Minhwan here, mostly friends! Nielhwan,, I wanted to build more on the plot~  
> the next chapter will have some of Minhyun's POV though!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!! it's been a long time i'm sososososo sorry for the late update i sincerely apologize ㅠㅠ  
> i was busy updating my other fic and it was pretty hectic haha!  
> anyways, its the holidays now so hopefully i can upload a chapter before july 25~  
> its pretty lengthy hoho~ roughly 4k words!! i'm so sorry if its so long yet it wasnt as good as you hoped it to be ㅠㅠ;;  
> i was struggling a lot with the plot and its actually a bit difficult to develop it hehe
> 
> nonetheless, i hope you enjoy it!! i feel like i worked hard huff--  
> its currently 1:40 am and i hope that you can forgive the mistakes i madeㅠㅠ i only managed to proofread once!!

 

This whole ‘ _love disease_ ’— _hanahaki_ —thing, wasn’t unfamiliar to Jaehwan.

 

He’d seen it around the internet, naturally. He'd read what it does to you, the symptoms, how you got it (and how to avoid it), how the different flowers coughed up represented the specific feelings you had towards them, but nothing about how to specifically cure it.

There’ve been some ways, such as surgery and medicine or whatever.

 

They say that one of the solutions is by confessing to them.

 

However, confessing is one of the best—or worst methods.

 

If you confessed and they happened to have the same feelings for you, then it’ll disappear. Just like that. To put it in a more _‘elegant’_ or _‘delicate’_ way—in other words, more _romantic_ —instead of these flowers blooming inside of you, possibly killing you, a new relationship will bloom instead.

However, if it wasn’t mutual, then—to put it in a way—just be prepared for the absolute worst.

He had read countless of articles online, most were indeed successful, yet some of the latter cases still happened. All the articles had one thing in common though: if it didn’t work, the love stayed one sided, you only have 1 day left. Before it all consumes you.

 

1 day remaining for you to simultaneously relive and make new memories in just 24 hours.

 

And just like that, you’ll be devoured. As if you’ve never existed.

 

They were definitely quite extreme and tragic, but nonetheless, Jaehwan still found this whole thing just plain ridiculous.

 

What kind of fool would let themselves get caught up in such a troublesome yet enticing experience to the point where they’re risking their lives. Its not like they weren’t aware of what they were doing—hell, they were fully aware of their actions.

 

But it was as if they didn’t know the consequences.

 

So yeah, it’s ridiculous.

Who would be dumb enough to risk their life just because the other person didn’t love them back, yet they love them endlessly? They continue to run after them, knowing fully well that it’ll just be a fruitless chase. They cough up blood, flowers, all because they have an unrequited love for a specific someone.

 

Besides, Jaehwan hadn’t seen it actually happen personally—yet.

He thought that he wouldn’t ever witness, much less experience such an incident.

 

 

Who would’ve thought that **_HE_** would be the idiot that would get himself tangled in-between all these thorns and petals, the things that are endangering his own life.

 

Who would’ve thought that **_HE_** would get himself involved in this _‘love’_ thing.

 

 

He blames no one but himself.

 

 

He can’t lie to himself anymore, he has to admit that things are looking worse than before.

Regular coughs that were only just once or twice a day became five to seven. Then by next week it would be ten coughs a day. But he was still in a heavy state of denial.

_‘No, no—this can’t be happening, its not real. It’ll be gone in no time.’_ he thinks to himself.

 

It was as if all the flowers he threw away, all the crimson-stained clothes he had to wash, all the metallic floral scent lingering in his room, all the dizziness and sharp throb in his heart wasn’t enough to convince poor little Jaehwan.

He still had that hope that maybe—maybe, it would go away by itself. _(Of course, this wasn’t a method he’d found on the internet.)_

 

 

And before he knew it, a month passed by.

 

A month full of denial, a month full of ragged breaths, painful headaches, and metallic scent.

 

A month full of nothing but sweet torture that Jaehwan had to withstand all by himself.

 

 

He was impressed, to say the least. In both a good and bad way.

He’s lucky enough that despite all the blood he spewed out he’s still alive today. One month? Who would’ve thought.

But he’s had enough. He’s tired of living like this—tired of how its unfair that he’s so helpless in such a situation. He wished he could just call Minhyun to help him, to have Minhyun comfort him like always.

 

But he’s with Minki nowadays.

 

The sight of them _smiling_ at each other made his stomach churn in the familiar painful way it had always been for the past month, his heart started beating irregularly, his chest tightened and—and—

 

 

He sprung awake.

 

 

He was gasping for air, his bangs stuck to his forehead due to his sweat, and his eyes quickly glanced around his surroundings. It took a while for him to actually calm down and even out his breath. He tried to remember what happened. All that he could recall was that he ran and ran back to his dorm, everything was fine, until—

 

Until Minhyun called him.

 

He remembered the exact words Minhyun had said to him.

 

 

_“I can always cancel my plans with Minki.”_

 

 

His mind was such a jumbled mess, he didn’t even know if he could trust himself to do anything right now. Fortunately, he heard the door open softly, so that stopped him from thinking about anything else.

“Jaehwan? Are you up yet?”

 

It was Daniel...?

 

“D-Daniel? W-what are you doing here?”

 

Daniel said nothing but looked at him with such a serious expression. It resembled a scowl, it definitely looked like he was angry, but what did Jaehwan ever do to him..?

This wasn’t the usual goofy Daniel that everyone—that Jaehwan knew of.

 

He’d never seen Daniel look at him like this before. His eyebrows scrunched together, his eyes staring at him so intensely, his mouth in a frown, yet he can’t help but still look bothered.

 

“Jaehwan, listen—we need to talk. _Now_.”

 

Daniel softly approached Jaehwan, trying to come off as somewhat stern and serious, but not a lot would ever take him seriously once you see him in his pink pajama set and bunny slippers.

He sat right beside Jaehwan, gently swiping his bangs away from his sweaty forehead, all while seemingly trying to recollect his thoughts. 

 

“How long?”

 

 

_How...?_

 

 

“W-what are you talking a-about—“ Jaehwan squeaked out. His voice was trembling, he could feel the familiar stinging pain in his eyes. He didn’t need to ask Daniel what he was asking about. He knew that the clever boy knew already.

 

“Stop _bullshitting_ Jaehwan! You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he sternly said to him in a fierce manner that startled Jaehwan.

 

However his facial features immediately softened once he looked at Jaehwan in the eyes. Jaehwan just seemed shocked, of course, but he seemed so— _afraid_. Daniel realized that he might’ve come off  too harsh for his friend, but he can’t help it—he’s just so _worried_.

 

“Listen—I, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean—“ he huffed out a sigh while slowly stroking Jaehwan’s hair, attempting to calm the both of them down, “I didn’t mean to shout like that. It’s just—I’m just _worried_ , Jaehwan,” he said while flashing an apologetic smile.

 

 

“So _please_. How long, Jaehwan?”

 

 

Jaehwan had never seen Daniel so concerned before. He was still afraid and anxious to actually tell him, but he knew Daniel.

He could trust him with all his life.

Lying would be useless anyways since the guy could practically see right through him. He gulped hard and with a trembling voice and a tight throat, he quietly whispered,

 

 

“One month.”

 

 

There was nothing but silence engulfing the whole room, the air was thick with tension and Jaehwan didn’t even notice he was holding his breath until Daniel softly patted him on the hand, all while showing him a gentle smile, the same old smile he had seen for the past 5 years.

Daniel was at least relieved to know that Jaehwan could trust him with anything and everything.

 

“Ok—ok.”

 

He needed to warn Jaehwan now, before its too late.

He doesn’t want the same thing to happen to Jaehwan.

He doesn’t want it to happen to anyone actually.

 

“D-Daniel, what happened to me? W-W-Why are you here?” his voice cracked, tears were threatening to spill over so easily now. God—he can’t break down now, _not now_.

 

“H-How did you know?”

 

Daniel remained silent, he himself looked quite shaken up with the whole situation. His throat visibly tightened, he gulped, and let out a shaky breath,

“I—I saw you. In class. The flower, the one you coughed up, Jaehwan,” he looked at him with a sympathetic smile.

 

“You forgot to throw it away.”

 

 

**_Oh no._ **

 

 

“I—I figured I’d follow you just to make sure you’re alright.”

“But when I was banging the door, y-you didn’t respond. I got worried so I just barged in and—,” he closed his eyes momentarily, letting out a shaky breath as he remembered the sight in front of him, “you were there, lying on the floor with blood all over you.”

 

“God—Jaehwan I was so **_so_** worried.”

 

 

Everything seemed to make sense now. Jaehwan could remember everything clearly now.

 

Why— ** _why_** did Jaehwan forget? How could he forget?

 

The one thing that he’d always make sure to remember. Whenever he coughed up a flower in public, he’d always throw it away. He’d managed to do it countless of times before, but why did he forget this time?

 

If only he threw it away, he wouldn’t have dragged Daniel into this mess—

 

“Hey, Jaehwan!” Daniel shouted and gripped Jaehwan’s shoulders, trying to prevent Jaehwan from having a mental breakdown.

Fortunately, it worked. Jaehwan didn’t even know that he had started trembling and gasping for air.

 

“I know that a lot is happening right now, and I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this,” Daniel said as Jaehwan calmed down, “but I need to ask you now, Jaehwan.”

 

 

“Who do you like?”

 

 

Jaehwan knew that sooner or later he would get busted. He knew that at one point, he’d be confronted about the disease. But honestly, the last person he’d expect was for it to be Daniel.

 

“I don’t understand—why do you care so much about this, about **_me_** , Daniel?” he managed to croak out, he hadn’t even noticed tears started to trickle down his face.

“I don’t want to drag you into this—this **_mess_**. Daniel I—“

 

 

“I don’t want you to experience the same thing, Jaehwan.”

 

 

_The same..thing..?_

 

“What do you—“ Jaehwan stuttered out, confused, before Daniel cut him off with a trembling voice.

 

 

“I—,” he shortly said before taking in a breath of air, trying to calm down before telling _it_ to Jaehwan. Jaehwan could see that his eyes started to glisten slightly even under the dim lamp.

 

 

“I had hanahaki. A couple of years ago.”

 

 

Jaehwan was taken aback. He’d never thought that his closest friend would ever go through such a thing. He knew Daniel as the campus’ heart throb. He thought that he wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing. Apparently not.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me..? After all this time, you never—“

 

“How could I?” he said with a pitiful smile, “I didn’t wanted to burden you Jaehwan. Hell, maybe I was just afraid that you’d freak out on me. I didn’t have the guts to tell anyone that my love interest was a **_guy_** , Jaehwan.”

 

 

It was silent for a while. Jaehwan heard a couple of sniffs in front of him, he wanted to comfort Daniel, he really did, but he just couldn’t move. He never meddled too much with his friends’ love interests, he didn’t mind who their partner were. As long as they’re happy, Jaehwan’s happy too.

 

“You know that I’d never hate you because of that right?” Jaehwan said gently to Daniel while patting his back. “Daniel, you’ve given so much to this friendship of ours for the past years, you’ve become one of my few reasons to smile every day, the least I could do was to help you.”

 

“I—I know. I know, Jaehwan, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

 

 

“But that’s why I care so much about this _mess_ , because **_you_** are going through it. I know how painful it was, and I don’t want you to go through it alone like I did.”

 

Jaehwan could see the desperateness and determination in Daniel’s eyes, not to mention his now firm and steady voice. He finally built up the courage to say the name, the one name that he dears so much.

 

 

 

“Minhyun.”

 

 

“I like Minhyun.”

 

 

It’s sort of funny how he finally admits that he likes Minhyun now, after a month of excruciating pain and sweet torture. He laughed slightly to himself, for all those useless months of denying the fact that he _does_ like Minhyun. He finally admitted after all those blatant obvious signs.

 

 

He waited for anything to happen at this point. Jaehwan having feelings for one of his closest friends? What a perfect formula to ruin their friendship.

He expected Daniel to react in some kind of way. Maybe he’d laugh at Jaehwan, maybe he’d be grossed out. Maybe he’ll even leave Jaehwan.

But he got none of that.

 

 

“Minhyun? That’s it? It’s him?”

 

 

Jaehwan had mixed feelings for Daniel’s reaction. He was certainly not expecting the lack of response. He was slightly frustrated and confused at the same time.

 

“What do you mean _‘That’s it’_? Daniel, don’t you get it?”

 

“Jaehwan listen—“

 

“Someone like me liking someone like Minhyun just sounds like a hopeless relationship! For us to be together would be some kind of miracle or God’s work! Minhyun is completely out of my league, he’s everything that I’m not, both personality and appearance wise! I lack in so many aspects, I don’t deserve to even be close friends with him, but _Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes-Prince-Lookin-Dude_ just _had_ to be so kind and gentle to me and I can’t help but want more of it! Someone like Minhyun doesn’t deserve someone as unworthy as me.”

 

Jaehwan was panting now, and Daniel could only stare at him with an overwhelmed expression.

 

“Besides, he’s with Minki, isn’t he?” he continued dejectedly.

 

“Jaehwan!” he yelled quickly. Accidentally though, he swears.

 

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? It hurts me to know that you even think of yourself this way! You’re one of the most important people in my life, you’re so much more important than you think!”

 

“I want you to listen to me loud and clear, Jaehwan. I don’t want to _ever_ see you throw insults at yourself anymore, I don’t want to _ever_ see you underestimate your worth anymore.”

 

Daniel said them with such sincerity, Jaehwan can’t help but start to tear up again.

 

“Besides, everyone knows that you two are so comfortable with each other! You’d always try to make sure Minhyun is involved in everything that we do, making sure that he’s never left behind. You’re the only person that Minhyun can’t stay angry at for more than a day, because you have a special spot in his heart. You’re the only person that would never be afraid of embarrassing yourself in public whenever you’re with Minhyun. I’ve seen how you two interact.”

 

“Did you even realize that Minhyun has picked up your small little traits? He’s not afraid to laugh loudly in public anymore, he’s not afraid to shout in public when he has to, he’s not afraid to crack his lame jokes anymore. You’ve impacted him in ways more than you can think.”

 

Jaehwan was stunned, frozen in place. The sincere words that he’d said, he sounded so sure.

Daniel wasn’t done though.

 

“And his eyes, Jaehwan. His eyes always seem to twinkle whenever he sees you smile or laugh. His eyes would form crescent shapes from laughing too hard at your weird antics. He would look at you with such a gentle gaze, his expression endearing towards you.”

 

“I know I’m not the best at academics and rarely do I ever get my facts right, but there’s one thing I’m sure of. The eyes never lie Jaehwan—they **_never_** lie.”

 

 

At this point, Jaehwan was utterly speechless. He knew that Daniel meant every single word that he just said. What’s even more baffling to him is how all of it—well, for the most part, is true. Minhyun now laughs louder in public, he doesn’t stiffle it anymore. He would be embarrassed to share his lame jokes in public, now he doesn’t even mind if he had embarrassed himself.

 

Jaehwan started to rethink all of the time he had spent with Minhyun.

 

He realized that Minhyun indeed couldn’t stay angry at him for more than a day. Even when Jaehwan made mistakes like losing Minhyun’s favorite pen, spilling coffee all over his notebook, forgetting to return his umbrella for a whole (rainy) week, Minhyun had never raised his voice to Jaehwan. Ever.

Minhyun was angry, frustrated, and stressed. But not once did he ever hold a grunge against Jaehwan. Was it because Jaehwan apologized sincerely to him? Was it because he knew just how typical it would be for Jaehwan to do those things? Because no matter what, he’d forgive Jaehwan with a gentle smile and the same old phrase, _“It’s alright, Jaehwan.”_

When Jaehwan didn’t understand anything, Minhyun would patiently teach him, explaining everything to Jaehwan, even if it took a whole day and completely messed up his usual schedule of running his daily errands. Whenever he knew that Jaehwan hadn’t eaten yet that day, despite the younger not saying anything, he’d make sure he’d buy him lunch, or invite him over to his dorm for dinner. And when the younger ate with a blissful expression on his face, he’d always miss out on the fond gaze and gentle smile that Minhyun would give him.

 

Whenever Jaehwan had some ideas for a couple of songs, he’d bashfully asked Minhyun if he’d like to listen to them. Without fail, Minhyun would say yes, no matter what. _(Jaehwan didn’t know if Minhyun knew that the songs he wrote were about him though. Hopefully, he doesn’t.)_

 

He thought back to all those times when Minhyun would be there for Jaehwan whenever he needed him.

 

He thought back to those small gestures Minhyun would always do to calm Jaehwan down after a heavy and harsh day.

 

Whenever he’d start crying over the phone call, Minhyun knew exactly what to do. He’d rush to Jaehwan’s room in an instant, panting and rapidly knocking the door, not caring the slightest bit if he disturbed the others.

He’d always hug and engulf Jaehwan in his arms, so firm yet protective, how his face would instantly frown whenever he saw Jaehwan cry and how he absolutely hated it.

 

 

Minhyun was always— ** _always_** —there for him.

 

Jaehwan can’t help but just think, _why him?_

 

 

Why _him_ out of all people?

 

Jaehwan knows that although Minhyun is a gentle and kind person, he doesn’t really show any form of affection towards anyone else _but_ Jaehwan. _Only Jaehwan._

 

 

He can’t help but think that he doesn’t deserve someone like Minhyun at all.

 

 

Jaehwan has so much flaws and imperfections, Jaehwan is loud and annoying, Jaehwan isn’t a visual God, Jaehwan isn’t academically outstanding, Jaehwan’s just _not special_ in any way.

 

He thinks that Minhyun would look so much more better off with Minki.

A compatible pair with a bright future ahead of them.

He doesn’t want to bring Minhyun down. He doesn’t want to burden him anymore.

 

 

Yet, Minhyun would never hesitate to care for Jaehwan.

 

Before he could think even further, he was disrupted by Daniel.

 

 

“Why don’t you confess?”

 

 

Jaehwan could only sputter in response and looked at him with eyes bulging out and mouth wide open.

 

 

“ _C-CONFESS?!_ ME? TO MINHYUN? DANIEL DO YOU EVEN—“

 

 

“Just listen to me for a second!” he quickly cut him off, effectively shutting Jaehwan up.

 

“I—I also thought that confessing would do me no good, but its alright Jaehwan,” he said, “its gonna be alright. I was hesitant just like you were, hell, I never even thought about confessing at all!”

 

“Trust me, I also thought he was completely out of my league,” he chuckled, “but turns out he blushed like hell when I did confess to him!”

 

“I—I’m so grateful that he loves me too, Jaehwan. I wouldn’t even want to know what would happen if I _didn’t_ confess.”

 

“Now, I know you were thinking of how you don’t deserve Minhyun again, Jaehwan. I know you were thinking of how he looked better off with Minki and whatnot. But don’t you realize it?”

“Minhyun has been giving you affection ever since years ago, and trust me when I say that he doesn’t act the same way with Minki. They’re close, I admit, but he doesn’t—,” he softly sighed and looked at Jaehwan in the eyes,

 

“he doesn’t look at Minki the same way like how he looks at _you_.”

 

 

_(And I’m sure he loves you too, Jaehwan. You just haven’t noticed it yet, Daniel thinks to himself.)_

 

 

Jaehwan hesitated and thought about it for a moment.

Its not like he thinks that what Daniel said was true, but if he’s so sure of what he just said, there must be _some_ truth to it.

 

“Just—just give it a try, ok?” he said while flashing his small bunny tooth smile, “trust me on this one too.”

 

Jaehwan wasn’t sure of anything anymore at this point. He’s never afraid to trust Daniel honestly, its just—he’s more scared of Minhyun’s rejection than actually dying. It sounds dramatic, he knows, but he just can’t stand the fact of Minhyun hating him just because he confessed.

 

 

_(Minhyun would never hate him no matter what though.)_

 

But Jaehwan’s had enough.

 

He’s tired of living like this, he’s tired of ruining his own life just because of this love he has towards Minhyun.

He’s tired of constantly denying everything.

He’s tired of running away.

He finally built up the confidence and finally made up his mind.

 

 

“Alright.”

 

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

For the first time, Jaehwan’s so terrified yet so sure of what he’s doing. He doesn’t know if Minhyun would ever love him back, but if he doesn’t then—

 

Then Jaehwan’s glad for all that Minhyun has done for him for the past years. He’s glad that he had made memories with him that he’ll never forget.

 

 

He’s glad that he fell in love with Minhyun.

 

 

Daniel could only look at Jaehwan with the typical facial expression he’d shown him everyday for the past 5 years, which consists of crescent eyes with wrinkles around its’ edges, a smile so wide it reaches both of his ears and his adorable bunny teeth. Daniel hugged Jaehwan so tight and even smooched his forehead.

 

“Thank you, Jaehwan. I—I’m glad you trust me on this one.”

 

“I know. Now get off me and treat me to some food and watch Weekly Idol with me,” he chuckled as he pried Daniel off his body.

 

“Alright, alright.”

 

Jaehwan rarely asks Daniel to stay with him until he’s about to sleep, but he just needed it today. He’s glad to have Daniel. He’s glad that his friend is willing to be dragged into this one hell of a mess, the least he could do was try and take Daniel’s advice.

Their day ended with many more laughters and a stack of empty ramen cups that Daniel will end up throwing away on his way out because Jaehwan said so.

Before that though, Daniel made sure to tuck Jaehwan back in bed, of course while smiling fondly at him, and never forgetting to peck his forehead once more.

 

Some habits never change even after all these years.

 

 

Just as Daniel was about to leave, he heard Jaehwan faintly calling him.

 

 

“Hey, Niel?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Thanks a lot—for today. I—I appreciate it, you know.”

 

Daniel looked at him and smiled, Jaehwan looked so comfortable and content tucked into his bed with his blanket up to his chest.

 

“You’re welcome, Jaehwan.”

 

 

“And Niel?”

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you like Seongwo—”

 

“Good night to you too Jaehwan.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello~ how was it??   
> i hope you guys enjoyed itㅠㅠ<333 i personally like the ending hehe~  
> once again im sorry i took so long!!  
> some songs encouraged me to continue, like BTOB's recent album and DAY6's recent comeback (pls support them<33!)  
> i apologize for no minhwan action in this chapter,, i was rly struggling with the plotㅠㅠ
> 
> anyways, i hope i wont take TOO long on the next update, and hopefully it wont be as dragging as this chapter too~  
> i also feel like 4k words is a little too much for meㅠㅠ  
> thankyou soso much for all the kudos and comments!! it really keeps me going and it makes me feel like all my hard work didn't go to waste ㅠㅠ<3333
> 
> i'll be going and get some good rest now!! thankyou and until next time~
> 
>  
> 
> (i actually worked on this from 1:30am-3am the other day i felt so tired ;;)


	4. Chapter 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the whole thing that's been happening but in Minhyun's POV!!   
> as well as a lil continuation, still in minhyun's POV too.
> 
> i worked really hard, so hopefully you guys enjoyed it!!
> 
> its really lengthy, ~4.9k words!! hope that compensates for my absenceㅠㅠ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!! gosh, its been so long :''-) and i deeply apologize for my disappearance!!  
> i'll explain the whole ordeal at the end of the chapter~  
> so finally, this is the long awaited chapter 4!  
> i won't spoil too much, but you're definitely in for a ride~
> 
> and also!! Merry Christmas everyone!! i hope you all had a very happy and fun christmas, and spent the day well with your loved ones~ 
> 
> P.S : its sad to say but i dont think i can update this fic in time for W1's disbandment/ new years :(( im very sorry you guys, but it definitely wont take 6 fucking months i swear ;;
> 
> anyways, enjoy!!

 

_Behave well and everything will be alright._

_Make sure to study hard and always pay attention during classes._

_Never forget to be polite, to be kind, to be generous._

This was how Minhyun had lived his whole life.

He doesn’t necessarily hate it, but he doesn’t particularly love it either.

Nothing much has changed, honestly.

 

 

Ever since he was young, he had always been a _‘goody-two-shoes’_ sorta guy.

That reputation just stuck with him.

Everyone knows who Minhyun is, even though they’ve never known him personally.

The intelligent, gentle prince who never fails in all aspects of life.

 

 

He’s used to the empty compliments as if he didn’t know what their true intentions were.

He’s used to it.

It was all a show just so they could get a helping hand from someone who would carry the whole weight of the _‘group’_ project by himself.

 

 He’s used to being played like this. He’s used to being used constantly because of his brain.

 

 

He **_hates_** it.

 

 

 

 _So fucking much_.

 

 

 

But, what can he do?

 

Because what they don’t know is—Minhyun’s also a coward.

 

 

It’s one of the aspects that he lacked in his personality.

He doesn’t dare to object something nor someone. The slightest bit of hesitation evident on his face just needed to be persuaded a teensy bit more, and he’ll end up doing it anyway.

 If he were to reject someone, imagine the rumors they’d spread of him. Besides, he doesn’t completely hate them anyways for using him, hell, he could care less. It’s just—

 

 

He’s **_tired._**

 

 

But he learned how to cope with all this. 

 

 

_Just put on a smile and everything will be fine._

 

 

He thought that maybe this way, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

He thought that he’ll be alright, all by himself.

 

 

 

He really did.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was a day like any other day that’s typical for Minhyun.

Being bombarded with questions;

 

_“What was your answer?”_

  _“Have you done the homework?”_

  _“How do you solve this?”_

 

The list can continue endlessly.

What a fantastic way to start high school, he supposes.

 

However, he can’t deny that his school life was just starting to get more interesting than before.

 

 

 

Jaehwan. Kim Jaehwan is his name.

 

 

 

Minhyun really doesn’t have a solid opinion or impression of the guy.

He just thinks he’s so—so **_weird._** In all the right ways, of course.

 

It’s just—well—he had never seen a guy so _carefree_ before. Not a single day goes by without a smile on Jaehwan’s face.

Sometimes he’s the class’ clown, other times he’s the butt of the joke. But it seems like he doesn’t care at all.

Don’t get him wrong, he still tries to pursue good grades, this Jaehwan guy, but he absolutely doesn’t care about what others think of him.

_It must be nice,_ Minhyun thinks.

_To be so carefree._

 

_To be so happy._

 

 

 

As much as he’d try to get ‘ _Jaehwan’_ out of his head, he just can’t help but be even more intrigued to him. He was so unusual, yet fascinating. Minhyun just couldn’t help but want to know more.

 

Maybe it was because he was the exact opposite of who Minhyun was.

Minhyun was an exact replica of a cookie cutter, whereas Jaehwan was just a big, messy dough that couldn’t be contained, no matter how hard they’d tried.

 

But just as how Jaehwan barely cares about what others think of him, others barely care for him at all. They treat him as if—as if he’s a _nuisance_.

 

 

Because of course, who would ever remember what Jaehwan’s smile looks like, and how is laugh sounds like.

Typically, others would forget about it within a matter of hours, it’s Jaehwan after all.

Others just find him bothersome; they don’t want to be near him.

 

 

Not Minhyun.

 

 

 

And maybe—just maybe—Jaehwan had already become a big impact in Minhyun’s life, more than he had ever thought he would.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“God, what is it that you want _this_ time?”

A very, _very_ familiar voice startled Minhyun out of his daily trance. He usually lets his mind wander into the realms of his own imaginary world; a way to cope amidst all the chaos.

 

“All I’m saying is that if you could’ve kept that _mouth_ of yours shut for _one_ second, everyone’s lives would be so much better!”

 

“Oh _please_ , like I’ve told you before, I’m not here to impress nor please anyone. I could care less for your _bullshit_.”

 

Oh boy.

 

 

Things were getting heated alright.

 

 

“ _My_ bullshit? Last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who’d cause a ruckus at _every_ goddamn lesson! For fuck’s sake Jaehwan you’re such a fucking asshole!”

 

“ _Oh?_ So _I’m_ the asshole now?” he chuckled.

 

“Huh, that’s funny! Last time I checked, I wasn’t the one cheating on a goddamn test, and I’d _never_ dare to cheat on my partner. But, you didn’t even hesitate—did you? Or did I get my facts wrong?”, Jaehwan sneered.

 

“Why you little—”

 

“Hey _, watch it_. One more word from that mouth of yours and I’ll be telling her _everything_ that you’ve done,” Jaehwan quickly snapped back.

 

Everyone was startled at the sudden heated conversation between the two.

Of course, Minhyun was also surprised.

 

It was his first time seeing Jaehwan get so annoyed.

 

 

“God, sometimes I wish I could sew your mouth shut,” he muttered under his breath.

“Still heard that, still don’t care. You’re not the first one to say that dear, and you’re certainly not the last,” Jaehwan said as he got up from his seat and yawned.

“Have fun in class, your bullshit made me so exhausted, I’m gonna head off and sleep in the clinic. Tell the teacher I’m skipping class or I’m sick, anything will do. I’m sure they know by now anyway.”

 

As he was about to leave, he couldn’t help but smirk as he said his last remark.

“Oh—and newsflash, they probably don’t care either!”

 

And just like that, Jaehwan merrily walked his way out of the class, not even sparing a glance back.

 

Sure enough, that student was enraged, but that just shows how undefeated Kim Jaehwan truly is.

No matter the number of insults he’d receive, he truly doesn’t fucking care about what others think of him.

 

And if we’re all being truthful here, Minhyun wanted to beat the living shit out of that guy. How dare he say such insults to Jaehwan? Really? As if he thought he could win in the first place?

 

 

_What a joke._

 

 

Never had Minhyun ever seen such a conversation go down like that before. He was startled, yes, furious, absolutely, but he was also overwhelmed.

Because when he was younger, all he could do was receive such criticisms silently, never fighting back. That was how his mother had raised him.

 

_“Accepting criticisms will make you an even better person, Minhyun!”_

 

 

_“Why are you so quiet?”_

 

_“Why is your voice so girly?”_

 

_“Nerd!”_

 

_“Geek! All you do is just read your books all by yourself, you won’t have any friends!”_

 

 

_“Stay away from us, you’re too boring.”_

 

 

All he wanted to do was just to please everyone.

All Minhyun wanted to do was just to be likable, he just wanted to make friends.

 

 

But they all shoved him away.

 

 

Was it because of his personality? His behaviors or habits perhaps? Or maybe its just because he had always been quiet?

 

Maybe it’s just because he was ‘ _different_ ’ than the other kids in his class; he never liked playing sports, running around, all those outdoor activities.

 

Of course, he doesn’t have a grudge against them now. They were just kids after all. But for Minyhyun, it kinda stuck around for years. It was already ingrained into his mindset.

 

So, if he could be brutally honest for once, then yes, he admits that he might just admire Jaehwan a _teensy tiny bit._

 

 

The fact that Jaehwan just stood up all by himself, defended himself, and walked away unbothered was something that Minhyun had always wanted to do.

Jaehwan received all of those insults, yet he was completely unfazed by it as if he had accepted it all. He’s used to being called loud, a nuisance; it’s not new for him.

 

 

Jaehwan is a person that has accepted all of his flaws and learned that it’s a part of him, and he’s not afraid to admit it.

 

Don’t get him wrong, Minhyun wanted so badly to stop the conversation from heating up even further, but he couldn’t.

 

 

 

He’s a coward after all.

 

 

He doesn’t have enough courage to say things like _“cut it out”_ or _“stop it”._

 

 

And that’s something new for Minhyun.

 

 

He had never really bothered with strangers before.

Sure, he’s a very caring and gentle person, he admits it. His mother had carefully raised him to be a gentleman in front of everyone’s eyes.

 

But he’d always ensure that no strings were attached.

 

 

Not after what had happened.

 

 

He’d care for them just enough to give a good impression, but he wouldn’t bother to meddle into their personal lives.

 

But not when it comes to Jaehwan.

 

 

Something urged him to protect Jaehwan from all these insults, a sudden need that he had never felt before.

 

 

He felt his heart pound a little faster than before, but he thought nothing of it.

 

He continued to daze off for the rest of the day, minding no business to his restless heart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Minhyun? Could you do me a favor?”, the teacher called him at the end of the lesson.

 

Today felt a bit emptier than other days. Must be because of the blistering summer heat, or must be because a certain someone happened to be absent for the whole day.

 

Jaehwan hadn’t attended class all day.

 

 

That itself is very rare.

 

 

Jaehwan might be—well, _Jaehwan_ —but he’s one of the most diligent students that Minhyun knows off.

He _has_ skipped several classes, but never a full day.

He still finishes all of his assignments despite handing them a week later. He might sleep in class (quite a lot) but at least he puts effort into everything.

 

Well, at least he tries to.

 

 

But today was just _too quiet_ for Minhyun’s liking, and he’s an absolute sucker for quiet places.

It got to the point where he tried to do anything to distract himself from falling asleep or dozing off during classes.

Usually, Jaehwan would snore or laugh at this point, but he wasn’t there.

 

 

Minhyun hadn’t seen him all day.

 

And he can’t help but wonder just where could he be.

 

 

“Please hand these to Jaehwan for me, thanks,” she said while handing him several handouts that Jaehwan missed out on.

“It felt weirdly pleasant today during my class without that kid, although it was a bit too quiet for my own liking,” she chuckled.

“He’d always either laugh or sleep that boy,” she sighed, “I hope he’s alright.”

 

 

_Me too._

 

 

 

_Wait…what…?_

 

_‘Why…? We’re not even friends,’he thought to himself._

 

 

“Anyway, you can go home now, it’s already evening. See you tomorrow, Minhyun,” and just like that, the teacher scurried away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He couldn’t help but just sigh at his own random thoughts sometimes.

He shook his head and started to pack his things up and head outside of class.

 

Before going home though, he decided to head to the music room for a while.

 

Minhyun had never told anyone about this, but he adores playing the piano.

And singing.

 

 

But of course, who would he tell it to? He’s too shy about it—no, maybe he’s just insecure.

 

 

He sighed (again), but his ears quickly picked up the faint, distant sound of the piano.

As far as he’s aware, no one’s usually at school until this late. Well, at least not in the music room.

 

Just as he was walking towards the room to peek at who was playing, the said person walked out himself.

Something in his appearance reminded him of Jaehwan.

 

 

His chestnut, bowl-like hair. His relatively short height. His baggy beige sweater that looks worn out but he swears it’s new.

 

Maybe—just maybe, that’s indeed Jaehwan.

 

 

Minhyun _could_ satisfy his curiosity and ask Jaehwan if he just played the piano, but he decides to just keep it to himself (for now).

 

 

“Jaehwan?” he asked meekly.

 

 

The said man stopped in his tracks and immediately looked back to see who would call his name with such a voice.

Usually, whenever people mention his name its either with frustration or with pure boredom.

 

 

Never a gentle one.

 

 

“Y-yeah?” Jaehwan replied while wiping his eyes.

 

Minhyun approached him cautiously and handed him the papers.

“The teacher told me to give you these, since uh, you were absent the whole day? At least that’s what I thought, but turns out you’re here,” he said, voice tinged with concern.

He noticed Jaehwan’s eyes were avoiding his gaze.

 

“O-Oh, thanks, Minhyun,” he said while his trembling hands collected them, “ I—I wasn’t really feeling too well today, so I-I decided to just take a day of I-I guess,” he said almost dejectedly.

 

At the same time, Minhyun immediately took in his disheveled appearance.

 

This wasn’t the typical Jaehwan he knew of.

 

 

This Jaehwan in front of him was miserable, he was… _sad._

 

 

 

Minhyun had never seen Jaehwan sad before, and he _hates_ seeing him like this. He doesn’t know why.

 

It just felt so—so _wrong_ to see him sad.

 

 

His eyes were rimmed red, glass-like as it reflected the evening sun.

His hair messier than usual, all the strands sticking out in places they had never been before.

His nose a faint shade of red, his voice slightly coarser than before.

He smiled, but it was forced. Minhyun knew it was forced.

 

Whenever Jaehwan smiled, Minhyun noticed that his smile would reach wide across his face, his eyes would form crinkles around its’ edges, his cheeks resembling dumplings.

 

 

But not this time.

 

 

“Are you alright?” he gently asked, careful of every gesture he did.

 

Minhyun didn’t even realize he had accidentally blurted it out.

 

He let his curiosity win against him for now, he supposes.

 

For a moment, Jaehwan was startled. But he recovered himself so quickly, anyone would’ve missed it if they weren’t paying such close attention.

 

“Y-Yeah, yeah I-I’m ok. W-why do you ask?”

If Minhyun wasn’t listening so intently, he would’ve missed the slight whimper and tremble in his voice.

 

 

“O-Oh, well, uh, its n-nothing really. I just—you just look a little sad today, that’s all.”

 

 

Before Jaehwan could even ask him how did he notice, Minhyun quickly cut him off, and suddenly handed him a…

 

 

 

_handkerchief?_

 

 

 

 

“Here. You can use it and bring it home for the meantime, i-if you’d like,” he said while scratching the back of his neck. Which he never does whenever he’s nervous.

 

“O-oh, th-thank you..? Th-that’s very kind of you, Minhyun. I appreciate it, really,” he slightly sniffled while clutching the handkerchief— _his_ handkerchief—between his now sweaty palms.

 

“Just return it whenever you’d like! I-It’s fine,” Minhyun softly said while smiling.

 

“Anyways, I’ve got to go now, see you tomorrow?”

 

 

Jaehwan didn’t really know how to answer the unexpected question, but he thinks that once he sleeps all his thoughts away, tomorrow will be just okay.

 

 

“Y-yeah, sure. See you tomorrow, Minhyun.”

 

 

And just like that, the two of them walked their separate paths, unconsciously making their very first promise, out of the countless ones they’ll have.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyun tried to seem unfazed the next day when Jaehwan returned his handkerchief but failed to do so (as expected).

“T-Thanks Minhyun. It kinda meant a lot when you uh—yeah,” Jaehwan said while scratching the back of his neck, trying to hide the blush creeping up his face.

 

Minhyun failed to suppress the smile that was slowly forming on his face; he couldn’t help it.

He had never seen Jaehwan so shy and timid before.

 

“No, it’s alright! Really, it is,” he gently smiled, “I’m glad you’re feeling better today, Jaehwan.”

 

That was the first time that Jaehwan had ever directed his smile at him.

 

 

 

_At Minhyun._

 

 

After all that, no one dared to question Jaehwan when he started to talk to Minhyun more.

No one dared to ask Minhyun either as to why he’s hanging out with that boy.

 

They were found together during classes, lunch, even walking to the bus stop together.

At one point, everyone stopped questioning; they stopped caring.

 

They were satisfied knowing that Jaehwan’s blabbermouth was now occupied by Minhyun’s ears.

 

 

Minhyun’s life seemed to be so much brighter now.

He laughed more, he smiled more, he was finally _happy._

 

He could care less of what others thought of his newfound friendship with Jaehwan.

 

He felt carefree with him, a feeling that he had always yearned the moment he first set his eyes on the peculiar boy.

 

 

 

He thought that finally— _finally,_ life seemed to be just alright.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyun’s the type of person who loves to solve things.

Whether it’s puzzles, riddles, or equations; you name them, he’ll solve them.

Although, sometimes he can’t answer them.

 

But it’s fine, really; he’s not annoyed by it.

 

That won’t upset him, he’ll just quietly go about his day, quickly forgetting about it.

 

 

But something has been bothering him lately.

 

For the past few weeks.

 

 

Can someone please— ** _please_** —tell him why is Jaehwan avoiding him?

 

 

Minhyun is utterly confused. Did he do anything wrong?

 

If so, he can’t remember what he did to make Jaehwan act this way.

 

 

You might think he’s overreacting because really its only been 2 weeks but its just _too_ strange.

They had never been separated for this long before.

 

And it’s freaking him out.

 

 

 

_Because he just can’t figure out why_ _._

 

 

 

Ever since that day where Jaehwan suddenly rushed out off class, things have been weird.

Not only because he had never seen Jaehwan run that fast before, not even during gym class, but also because he didn’t even wait for Minhyun.

He didn’t hesitate to run.

 

That sort of rubbed off the wrong way. He supposes.

 

 

And that phone call—anyone could tell something was off.

You didn’t have to be friends with Jaehwan to know something was wrong.

 

_“I said I’ll be fine, hyung. Thanks, though. Have fun with Minki.”_

 

After all these years being friends with Jaehwan, he had never talked to Minhyun that way.

 

Never.

 

 

Jaehwan knew that he could trust Minhyun to accompany him no matter what.

 

He knew that...right?

 

At least, that’s how it’s been for the past years.

 

 

And when Jaehwan mentioned Minki’s name, it was as if he spat it out.

 

As if it was something poisonous.

 

 

After that phone call, Minhyun wanted to call him back immediately. But Minki swiftly approached him, cheerfully asking him if he’s done.

 

Minhyun didn’t think much of it then.

 

He assumed that perhaps, after all these years of being friends with him, Jaehwan just needed some space.

 

Maybe he just had a rough day and needed a good nap.

 

 

He knew well that wasn’t the case, and something weird settled within his heart, but he brushed it off. It ended up bothering him for the whole day, though.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

He’s been hanging out with Minki for the past few days—well, weeks to be more precise.

It just started as the usual situation with the homework and assignments, but when Minki decided to sit a row in front of him, things have changed.

 

Don’t get him wrong, it didn’t change for the worse if that’s what you’re asking.

 

 

Choi Minki is a very cheerful boy. His smile resembled a cat’s, quite adorable he’d say.

 

 

 

_(But of course, nothing compared to Jaehwan’s.)_

 

 

To be frank, Minhyun misses hanging out with Jaehwan.

 

They still hung out everyday, but definitely much less than before.

 

Minhyun suspects something behind all of Minki’s actions, but then again he doesn’t wanna read too much into it. He doesn’t mind it a single bit, actually.

 

 

But he’s not as comfortable with Minki, unlike how he feels with Jaehwan.

 

 

The next day after that phone call, Jaehwan didn’t turn up to class.

 

 

 

At first, Minhyun felt very worried.

 

 

 

He _knew_ something was wrong.

 

 

 

But for the first time, he hesitated whether he should call him.

 

Something within him urged him to call.

 

What if he’s feeling sick?

 

What if he has a fever?

 

Has he eaten yet?

 

 

However, he thought that maybe Jaehwan doesn’t wanna meet him.

 

At least not for now.

 

He sighed and decided to head to the school’s café. Maybe a cup of coffee can take his mind off things.

 

 

Just as he was heading towards the place, he abruptly heard a very, _very familiar_ and distinct laugh, not too far from where he was.

 

 

 

_J_ _aehwan._

 

 

 

  

Minhyun wanted so badly to scream out his name, ask him if he’s alright, but he wasn’t alone; Daniel was laughing with him too.

Something was stopping him though; his feet wouldn’t budge.

 

Minhyun knew that they were just friends— _strictly_ , just friends.

They’d been friends ever since middle school; he had heard enough of Jaehwan’s stories about the man to know what he’s like.

 

 

But he can’t help the small pang in his heart. He would’ve missed it if he didn’t stare as long.

 

He just couldn’t tear his eyes off of Jaehwan.

 

 

He also knew _damn well_ that he shouldn’t be feeling this way.

This was the first time he had ever felt such a way.

 

 

 

_He hates it._

 

 

 

 He didn’t realize that he was dazing off for some time until a phone notification snapped him out of it.  He didn’t bother to check it though.

 

 

 

He decided that he _really_ needed that cup of coffee.

 

 

 

* * *

 

A week had passed by.

 

Probably the most _boring_ and uneventful week Minhyun has had ever since his high school years.

You didn’t have to be observant to notice that the poor prince was in an unusual slump.

 

He wasn’t smiling as much anymore; it seemed forced nowadays.

 

 

And it was all because he wasn’t with Jaehwan.

 

 

 

Jaehwan didn’t even approach Minhyun anymore during classes. Daniel, who used to sit quite far from the boy, was now technically stuck to him like gum.

Both would constantly chatter softly, laughing at their own weird antics.

 

 

Minhyun absolutely _despises_ the fact that he’s so bothered by it all.

 

 

He knew well that they probably just miss each other, and he shouldn’t be thinking too much into it.

 

As usual, he’s stuck in his own little world, overflowed with all of his insecure thoughts.

 

 

A cup of coffee and a walk sounds _really_ good right now.

 

 

 

For the _n_ th time that day, he let out a heavy sigh and walked out of class.

 

_(He didn’t notice that a certain someone had missed him too.)_

 

 

 

Just as he was wallowing in self-pity, something—more like _someone_ —suddenly latched onto his shoulders.

 

He was _this_ close in losing his cool—until he realized it was just Minki.

 

 

“Hey, Minhyun!”, ah yes, that voice.

 

“Why the long face man? You okay?”

 

 

Minhyun really doesn’t want any sort of company right now, but he figured that maybe telling Minki off just seemed too rude. He supposes he could tag along.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Just—tired, I guess,” he huffed out.

“I can tell. Anyways, you’re heading to the café, right? Let’s go!” he chirped as he grabbed his wrist.

 

 

“U-Uh, Minhyun..?”

 

 

Despite how meek and quiet that voice was, Minhyun wouldn’t have mistaken it for someone else.

 

 

 

_“Jaehwan.”_

 

 

 

“A-are you busy right now?” he quietly asks while sneaking a glance to Minki.

 

“I-I mean, if you are, then its alright, we can just talk another time.”

 

“Yeah, he—” Minki started but quickly got cut off.

 

“No. No, I’m free,” he said, slowly releasing himself from Minki’s grip.

 

“Sorry, Minki. Uh—let’s just go together next time, alright?”.

 

 

“Let’s go, Jaehwan.”

And just like that, without hesitation, he grasped Jaehwan’s hands and walked off.

 

 

 

They were walking in the park. It was somewhat cold as winter was approaching; nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel warm inside, because finally— _finally_ , he’s with Jaehwan.

 

Despite the awkward silence, he felt comfortable with him. That’s what he had always loved whenever he’s with Jaehwan. He didn’t feel obliged to talk with him all the time.

 

 

_Sometimes, silence is enough._

 

 

“Actually—I’ve been, uh, meaning to tell you something, I guess...”, Jaehwan softly trailed off. Their walk had turned to a leisure stroll now.

It was perfect, really; it was quiet, the breeze was just right,

 

Minhyun couldn’t have asked for anything more.

 

 

He could clearly see that Jaehwan was evidently worried about something.

 

Even though he couldn’t see his entire face, he just _knew_ Jaehwan was troubled.

 

“Jaehwan, hey—you know you can trust me with anything, right? I don’t want you worrying over it, so just tell me. Its alright, I promise,” he immediately reassured him.

 

 

 

 _Old habits never die_ _huh_ , he thinks.

 

 

 

And for the first time in a while, he took in Jaehwan’s appearance.

 

He noticed all the things that were so much clearer now.

 

It’s only been a week, but he missed this— _so fucking much._

 

 

 

Was Jaehwan always this shy? He’d never seen him act this way before.

 

Was he always this tiny?  Minhyun swore his shoulders were wider than he remembered.

 

Was his hair always this tone of brown? It must be because of the sun.

 

 

When Jaehwan finally looked up at him, his heart did incredible things.

 

 

His eyelashes seemed so long. They even cast a soft shadow beneath his eyes.

 

His cheeks seemed much fuller; he must be eating well. Minhyun’s relieved.

 

His eyes would subtly meet with his—it sent his heart beating so fast, he could run a marathon.

 

 

His—his _lips._

 

Truthfully, he had never paid that much attention to them. But, they seemed rosy and slightly chapped, Minhyun should remind him to wear chapstick and drink some more water after this.

They still remained as enchanting as ever, though.

 

Minhyun could’ve missed the words that _oh so gently_ slipped out of Jaehwan’s mouth, but fortunately, he still had his sanity intact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I-I like,” he stuttered, “love— _I love you_.”

 

 

 

 

“I’ve always loved you, Minhyun.”

 

 

 

 

 

At this point, they stopped walking entirely.

 

Time seemed to stop right then and there.

 

 

Minhyun didn’t know what to do—his feet wouldn’t budge, he couldn’t even _smile_.

 

He looked at Jaehwan’s eyes, thinking that maybe it was some kind of sick joke—but they looked straight back at him.

 

 

 

He knew; Jaehwan meant _every_ word that he just said.

 

 

 

He wanted to say something back, say something— ** _anything_** for god’s sake—to fill this deafening silence. It was starting to sting his ears.

 

 

 

But what could he say?

 

 

He frantically tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind.

Was he supposed to say the same thing back to him?

 

 

It seemed tempting—but was he sure?

 

 

 

_Does he feel the same way for Jaehwan too…?_

 

Minhyun didn’t know.

 

 

 

He _does_ like Jaehwan—as a friend, as an overall person too—but, he didn’t know if he could say that he ‘loved’ him too.

 

He genuinely cares about Jaehwan, he wants him to be happy, he wants to be with him at all times; it’s clear for anyone that this might just be ‘ _love’_.

 

 

The thing is—Minhyun had never been in _‘love’_ before.

 

Jaehwan was the very first—and is the only person he’d ever been this close with.

 

 

He’s confused.

 

He doesn’t want to mistake his feelings for his friend as something else.

 

It's hard to distinguish whether the love you have for your friend is romantic, or if it's just some kinda random fling.   

 

As soon as he (somewhat) cleared his mind, the sight in front of him made his heart drop.

 

 

Jaehwan just stared back at him with expectant eyes, it physically hurt him that he couldn’t say the same thing back— _just yet._

 

But one glance was all it took for Jaehwan to understand.

 

 

It was all he needed.

 

 

 

Jaehwan’s face immediately fell, his face slowly distorted to something that hid sadness beneath it all.

 

 

 

 

“Ah… I knew it…,” he whispered while pitifully smiling to himself.

 

 

 

Tears began to trickle from his eyes, and that’s when Minhyun snapped out of it all.

 

 

“W-wait, Jaehwan, I-I—"

 

 

 

“N-No, its alright. I—I get it, its fine, really,” he sniffed and wiped his tears away with his sleeves, “I-I gotta go back now.”

 

“Thank you, Minhyun,” he said while flashing an apologetic smile—the sight only breaking Minhyun’s heart even further,

 

 

 

 “For everything.”

 

 

 

 

 

Before Minhyun even had the chance to respond, Jaehwan hurriedly walked past by him.

 

 

Minhyun only stood there, unmoving.

 

His mind was a jumbled mess—a mess that he couldn’t solve.

 

 

 

For the first time, he didn’t dare to call Jaehwan.

 

 

For the first time, he didn’t run after him to comfort him.

 

 

For the first time, he hated himself **_so_** **_fucking much._**

 

 

 

Because **_HE_** was the cause of Jaehwan’s pain now.

 

 

 ** _HE_** was responsible for Jaehwan’s tears.

 

 

If only he wasn’t such a coward—then— _then—_

 

 

 

 

_Maybe—things wouldn’t have ended this way._

 

 

He recognized the warm droplets trickling down his face; it was _him_ crying now.

 

 

His vision soon blurred, he could see nothing but splotches of colours.

 

He furiously wiped his tears with his palms; the thought of him being the reason for Jaehwan’s tears _**disgusts** _ him.

 

 

It makes him despise himself.

 

 

He had never felt so hopeless before.

 

 

That scene continually repeated itself.

It had burned itself within Minhyun’s memory, making it loud and clear that he should _never_ forget about it.

 

 

 

At this point, Minhyun could only laugh pathetically to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Ah..”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“What have I done?”_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it~? i hope you all enjoyed it;; its been so long since i wrote in general, i dont think this chapter is as good as the previous one ㅠㅠ and i sincerely apologize if it wasn't up to your expectationsㅠㅠ
> 
> so!! where have i been, you might ask?  
> long story short, i joined a school event that lasted 2 weeks or so, but unfortunately at the same time, my school assignments continued to pile up every day. By the time i returned, i had 18 assessments waiting for me ㅠㅠ;;  
> i was very very stressed, i've never reached that level of stress before i guess;; i had a lot of mental breakdowns lmao  
> (i had to self-study most of the time, imagine that,,,,) i was so caught up with my assessments, i didn't have time for this fic (i was so so tired yall)..
> 
> i did think of this fic while i was away! but i'm the type of person who needs to write at least half of the chapter in one sitting,, idk why yall ;; but as a way to cope all my stress because of the assessments, i drew instead ! (ig = @heavell_ )  
> drawing has been my escape since looong ago, i just started writing recently~
> 
> i don't write as often because i genuinely want my fics to be good yknow!! but sometimes thinking about the style, grammar, etc takes a toll on me :"-)) 
> 
> i ended up rambling lol.
> 
> im very sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoyed it! kudos and comments are very much welcomed~<33 have a very nice day~!


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